Before you become yourself

The verse

There is a version of you

that exists only in this hour 

before the name, before the role,

before the world reclaims its power.

You are not yet the sum of tasks.

You are not yet what others need.

You are only warmth and wanting,

a consciousness that's just been freed.

Drink slowly. Stay a little longer

inside this self without a shape.

Identity is a costume, remember 

And morning is before you drape.

The vignette

There is a philosopher, I forget which one, who said that the self is not a thing we have but a thing we perform. I think about that most mornings, usually around the second sip.

Before I open my laptop, before I answer to any name, there is a brief window where I am nobody in particular. Just a body with a warm cup, watching the light change. It is the only time of day I feel completely honest.

I've started to think of it as practice, not for productivity or mindfulness, but for remembering that underneath all the performing, there is something quieter. Something that was there before the day asked anything of it.

I'm not sure what to call it. But I make sure to greet it every morning.